Blah, blah, blah

So, I was right to assume I would be going in the hospital. It turns out that I am sick, but not too sick. I called just in time. I am glad that I will get it over with in two weeks, so that I will be able to continue school online in the fall.

I got a PICC line in today, and that is always the scariest part of the whole stay. This last hospital stay in January, I went through a really bad experience with the PICC procedure. I didn't receive any kind of calming meds, so I was totally freaking out about it. I was so scared. I didn't get any pain medicine, so had to go through the needle sticks and pokes with nothing. I ended up with a total of seventeen holes from where they tried to thread a catheter type line in my vein.

This time, I specifically asked for some medicine, and was elated when I remember waking up this afternoon with the procedure already done. I have since told my doctor to write down exactly what he gave me because I slept through everything!

I am a little woozy still from the meds I got this morning, so I am going to have to lay down, otherwise I will take a header off the bed. That wouldn't be good. Can't wait to feel better though... <3

I must wish on a star that never shines...

So, it's been one month and eight days since I was at the doctor last. One month and eight days to start feeling bad again. Ugh. Why is CF so hard?

I hate this.
I hate the disease, I hate that there isn't a cure, I hate how I never know whether I will be feeling good or bad when I wake up in the morning. I hate how I can't go ten minutes without coughing. I hate how I feel like I can't breathe in enough air. I hate it. I hate it with every part of my being.

I just wished I was normal. I wished I could breathe. I wished I wasn't sick. I wish for a lot of things. I guess it's time to call the doctor and tell him to set me up an appointment. I guess it's time to pack my things for yet another hospital stay. I guess I need to prepare for the many needle sticks and pokes I will have to endure for the next two weeks. I guess I need to love up on my puppy as much as I can since I won't be able to see her for two weeks straight. I guess I need mentally memorize the feel of my own bed, the taste of homemade food, and the smell of home.

I get tired of this.

I'm just tired....

Unlucky me!

Have you ever had three weeks worth of hospital food three times a day? Well, if you haven't, you are so lucky! I didn't think I was too sick, but I guess my body knows me better than I do. Doing nothing all day is very tiring. Knowing that my day consists of nurses, food service, housekeeping, and people coming in every ten minutes just makes me look forward to the day! Note the sarcasm in that last statement. I have been in the hospital for almost three weeks, and have not had very much time to do anything that I want. This is the reason that I am late on doing the blog. I really hope this next Tuesday I can go home, and be able to take a nap for an hour without anyone coming in "just checking" on me. Getting better is my number one priority though, and if it takes eating 63 meals for me to feel my best, then that is what needs to be done!